Posted on by Yannis Kavounis

One thing I learnt #29: Mindset matters!

I’ve always cringed at the trite expression of glass half full or empty and the shiny optimism usually associated with it. But there is so much more behind it than just a cringe-worthy attitude. 

Mindset matters, declared Dr Alia Crum in her Ted Talks a few years back – to this day, one of my fave talks. Such a small word, yet with such tremendous impact. Your mindset, the way you perceive incoming stimulus, can make or break your relationship, your career, your state of health, your everyday life. 

I surely learnt the hard way. I never considered myself to be a dreadful pessimist (we all have one of those in our family, or our team at work, you know, the cousin that discourages you to try anything new just because they have a crystal ball and can foresee the unforeseeable disaster, so why try it in the first place anyway; or the co-worker who starts every single sentence with ‘yes, but’ and makes your Monday morning meeting a miserable affair, wiping out any sense of weekend euphoria in an instant). Then again, I look back now, being wiser and more aware, and I recognise all the signs of a negative mindset which I considered as normal back then, but, in truth, it was chipping away my confidence and harming my state of well-being, piece by piece, like a genius sculpture who lost their mind and started peeling back their masterpiece. Some of you know the drill: that constant self-doubt voice (mine was nasally and incredibly annoying, like a Californian teenager); the waking up at 3am panicking that the email you sent will cause a disaster, without any rational proof that it would; the WhatsApp message from your boss asking you to have a chat, guaranteed to send you in a black-hole spin of uncertainty and anxiety; the inability to enjoy any moments of success and happiness, because, guess what, it won’t last and doom and gloom is bound to come in any moment. Do you know what I am talking about? 

Let’s start at ground zero. What is ‘mindset’ anyway? Mindset is a set of beliefs that shape how we make sense of the world and ourselves. It influences how we think, feel, and behave in any given situation. That’s not my definition, just to be clear. I stole it from some smart book, as I rack my brain to remember which one (note to younger self: record everything the minute you come across it, otherwise you will forget). If that’s the case, could it be that mother nature and evolution has equipped us, rightly so, with this negative feedback loop to keep us alert for any upcoming hidden dangers? And if so, have we thrown this system out of whack by leading a highly complex and high-paced lifestyle? Do we all have an innate ability to use the power of our mindset to influence not only our mental state, but even our physical state (enter placebo effect – although too premature for me to explore here, I need to do more research)? 

If we are to believe the recent peer-reviewed scientific papers, which I do, the answer is yes to all of the above. Our mindset about a situation, an incoming piece of information, influences the outcome. Changing our mindset can have a positive impact on our well-being. Change our mindset about intelligence and talent, from a limited, given quantity to a continuous learning journey (with a lot of mistakes along the way), and it is shown to change our professional success. Change our mindset about ageing, from a process of deterioration to journey towards wisdom and experience, and it is shown to increase longevity. Change our mindset about stress, from a source of debilitation needing coping mechanisms to a source of strength and enhancement, giving us progress and betterment, and it is shown to improve performance. You don’t believe me? As Tim Ferris, the performance lifestyle guru, would say: ask any elite athlete. Ask Rafael Nadal, the ultimate mindset controller.     

But how do you change your mindset, as most of us will attest, is possibly the hardest thing to do? Well, there is no silver bullet, but here are a couple of things for you to experiment with. Let’s take stress as an example to make it more tangible )not to mention that it’s one area I have direct experience with):  

  • First, this is not about mindlessly repeating a hundred times to yourself that you’re not stressed, expecting that at the end stress will go away. This is delusion. Sugar-coated optimism is a Hollywood invention, not how things work in real life. 
  • Instead, recognise and acknowledge it. Welcome it – because it is most likely related to something you care about, otherwise you wouldn’t be stressed, would you? Look at it as an opportunity to reconnect with what you care about. Hey, what an opportunity! 
  • Once embraced, explore its depth and reason why. Mindset is a portal between the conscious and the subconscious mind. There is usually a single deep-rooted source behind anxiety and stress. Mine was fear of rejection, what’s yours? Cognitive Behavioural Techniques or good old fashioned meditation can help here. 
  • Then, change the context of it,training one new neuropath at a time. Reframe stress from a negative experience that takes away from you, to a positive experience that helps you learn, progress, improve and prioritise. 
  • Be mindful of your environment and social context, when you’re aiming to change mindsets. For example, if, like me, fear of rejection is a stress factor, don’t waste your time on social media waiting for the next like to come in. Use your surrounding environment smartly to support you in your journey. 
  • Finally, practise, practise, practise. Start with a small event or a less-serious situation that causes stress, identify the positive you can get out of it, and every time you get that anxiety feeling, stop and remind yourself of the positive outcome. 

So, what’s the key learning here? Want to change a behaviour and influence an outcome? Start with your mindset first!

Now , look at the picture again, what do you see? Glass half full or half empty? 

Select rabbit hole references 

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